why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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