hell yes lets make some ravioli
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
