Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
grandma shit on top of the toilet
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
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