I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
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