I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
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