SEEEEXXX PLEASE
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
