Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
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