I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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