I think i peed on brittanys purse
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
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