hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
