im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
Less talking, more tequila
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
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