I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
