How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
you traded sex for a burrito?
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Randomize
