My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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