I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize