I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
