I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
