I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
i think i just lost a toe
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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