capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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