i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Randomize
