I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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