She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
