Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Randomize