Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
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