Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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