Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
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