Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
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