I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize