So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
everyone is single if you try hard enough
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
