Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
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you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
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And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.