it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best