this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.