Texts From Last Night

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  (269): View more from Michigan

  did you hook up austin?

  (248): View more from Michigan

  No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed

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  (269): did you hook up austin? (248): No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed http://tfl.nu/3mnz
  Replies (5) Good night (732) Bad night (1341)
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  (253): View more from Washington

  is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?

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  (253): is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing? http://tfl.nu/rrvx
  Replies (5) Good night (495) Bad night (2577) Order T-Shirt
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  (734): View more from Michigan

  Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?

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  (734): Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits? http://tfl.nu/qmc8
  Replies (55) Good night (4824) Bad night (1698) Order T-Shirt
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  (806): View more from Texas

  and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...

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  (806): and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"... http://tfl.nu/oz9l
  Replies (77) Good night (1743) Bad night (6575) Order T-Shirt
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.

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  (410): Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever. http://tfl.nu/6xdo
  Replies (15) Good night (4855) Bad night (790) Order T-Shirt
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.

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  (703): Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day. http://tfl.nu/0otc
  Replies (21) Good night (835) Bad night (6521) Order T-Shirt
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.

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  (860): I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead. http://tfl.nu/t7ti
  Replies (11) Good night (3236) Bad night (1128) Order T-Shirt
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  (843): View more from South Carolina

  i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning

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  (843): i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning http://tfl.nu/dohz
  Replies (15) Good night (3746) Bad night (694) Order T-Shirt
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  (315): View more from New York

  You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning

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  (315): You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning http://tfl.nu/dkck
  Replies (8) Good night (3528) Bad night (683) Order T-Shirt
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.

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  (330): She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager. http://tfl.nu/suup
  Replies (5) Good night (1161) Bad night (511) Order T-Shirt
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  (567): View more from Ohio

  Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.

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  (567): Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger. http://tfl.nu/4mv9
  Replies (6) Good night (672) Bad night (413) Order T-Shirt
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  (973): View more from New Jersey

  We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.

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  (973): We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend. http://tfl.nu/o8s0
  Replies (3) Good night (800) Bad night (359) Order T-Shirt
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  (604): View more from British Columbia

  We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.

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  (604): We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex. http://tfl.nu/otis
  Replies (4) Good night (442) Bad night (927)
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  (901): View more from Tennessee

  He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian

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  (901): He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian http://tfl.nu/6if3
  Replies (2) Good night (1704) Bad night (223) Order T-Shirt
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now

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  (215): Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now http://tfl.nu/6dgv
  Replies (5) Good night (169) Bad night (309) Order T-Shirt

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