Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
pray to the hookup gods
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.