You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.