dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Randomize
