i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
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