This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
it was like having sex with a tree stump
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
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Be still, my beating vagina.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
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u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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