SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
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