it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Randomize
