Texts From Last Night

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  (225): View more from Louisiana

  "Monday" is guna come over...

  (1-225): View more from Louisiana

  but its Thursday?

  (225): View more from Louisiana

  yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go

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  (225): "Monday" is guna come over... (1-225): but its Thursday? (225): yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go http://tfl.nu/xdyf
  Replies (5) Good night (1639) Bad night (574)
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  (626): View more from California

  and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.

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  (626): and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name. http://tfl.nu/n8x4
  Replies (13) Good night (2868) Bad night (790)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.

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  (732): You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant. http://tfl.nu/c7ag
  Replies (23) Good night (3317) Bad night (662)
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  (831): View more from California

  you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger

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  (831): you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger http://tfl.nu/xtvv
  Replies (11) Good night (3786) Bad night (1098)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again

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  (404): Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again http://tfl.nu/4z80
  Replies (59) Good night (809) Bad night (3624)
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  (416): View more from Ontario

  but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it

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  (416): but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it http://tfl.nu/djus
  Replies (8) Good night (4178) Bad night (1123)
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  (905): View more from Ontario

  She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.

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  (905): She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was. http://tfl.nu/uuuj
  Replies (14) Good night (1755) Bad night (5345)
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  (336): View more from North Carolina

  Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.

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  (336): Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things. http://tfl.nu/s0f9
  Replies (23) Good night (4138) Bad night (1157)
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  (707): View more from California

  We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.

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  (707): We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it. http://tfl.nu/1jar
  Replies (2) Good night (2472) Bad night (784)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.

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  (303): Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever. http://tfl.nu/tsdi
  Replies (10) Good night (2956) Bad night (1371)
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?

  (289): View more from Ontario

  You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.

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  (519): Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia? (289): You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname. http://tfl.nu/fwap
  Replies (7) Good night (1587) Bad night (2875)
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  (438): View more from Quebec

  Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?

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  (438): Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room? http://tfl.nu/i0aj
  Replies (15) Good night (746) Bad night (1239)
• Favorite

  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.

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  (202): i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy. http://tfl.nu/piez
  Replies (6) Good night (832) Bad night (438)
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  (301): View more from Maryland

  Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.

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  (301): Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited. http://tfl.nu/b9mp
  Replies (2) Good night (856) Bad night (389)
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  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?

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  (715): Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship? http://tfl.nu/fl0m
  Replies (2) Good night (379) Bad night (141)

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