at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
These 25 Ruthless Teachers Embarrassed Their Students
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
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