Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (678): View more from Georgia

  I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (678): I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI. http://tfl.nu/868g
  Replies (27) Good night (7336) Bad night (1378)
• Favorite

  (513): View more from Ohio

  you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (513): you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp http://tfl.nu/1q8y
  Replies (23) Good night (4746) Bad night (704)
• Favorite

  (423): View more from Tennessee

  Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (423): Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis. http://tfl.nu/t2k7
  Replies (14) Good night (1104) Bad night (4842)
• Favorite

  (714): View more from California

  Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (714): Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex. http://tfl.nu/8q2z
  Replies (9) Good night (888) Bad night (4170)
• Favorite

  (586): View more from Michigan

  from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (586): from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke http://tfl.nu/jxf3
  Replies (4) Good night (2336) Bad night (1154)
• Favorite

  (770): View more from Georgia

  She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (770): She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40. http://tfl.nu/qfdq
  Replies (7) Good night (2389) Bad night (807)
• Favorite

  (901): View more from Tennessee

  Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (901): Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas http://tfl.nu/y10v
  Replies (3) Good night (1564) Bad night (874)
• Favorite

  (816): View more from Missouri

  I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (816): I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose. http://tfl.nu/acx3
  Replies (0) Good night (995) Bad night (434)
• Favorite

  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (413): How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA? http://tfl.nu/rcz7
  Replies (16) Good night (909) Bad night (451)
• Favorite

  (314): View more from Missouri

  A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (314): A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection http://tfl.nu/gf0u
  Replies (1) Good night (732) Bad night (368)
• Favorite

  (585): View more from New York

  Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (585): Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings. http://tfl.nu/zv1f
  Replies (0) Good night (637) Bad night (233)
• Favorite

  (516): View more from New York

  Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (516): Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN. http://tfl.nu/0bkl
  Replies (11) Good night (1316) Bad night (310)
• Favorite

  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus

  (1-306): View more from Saskatchewan

  you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (306): I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus (1-306): you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now. http://tfl.nu/txg4
  Replies (3) Good night (270) Bad night (637)
• Favorite

  (816): View more from Missouri

  Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (816): Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me http://tfl.nu/m080
  Replies (7) Good night (584) Bad night (289)
• Favorite

  (207): View more from Maine

  he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (207): he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot http://tfl.nu/t6zb
  Replies (2) Good night (212) Bad night (568)

Randomize