Texts From Last Night

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  (831): View more from California

  Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers

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  (831): Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers http://tfl.nu/n6ua
  Replies (13) Good night (831) Bad night (3685)
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  (480): View more from Arizona

  I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..

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  (480): I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box.. http://tfl.nu/ei9f
  Replies (32) Good night (2017) Bad night (5014)
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  (571): View more from Virginia

  I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life

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  (571): I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life http://tfl.nu/ta8c
  Replies (5) Good night (3455) Bad night (1335)
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  (585): View more from New York

  ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried

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  (585): ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried http://tfl.nu/b5zu
  Replies (7) Good night (6689) Bad night (1113)
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  (618): View more from Illinois

  Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.

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  (618): Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I. http://tfl.nu/bxpy
  Replies (5) Good night (3281) Bad night (958)
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  (709): View more from Newfndlnd, Labradr

  You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.

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  (709): You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese. http://tfl.nu/dujc
  Replies (6) Good night (2809) Bad night (754)
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  (352): View more from Florida

  Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.

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  (352): Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman. http://tfl.nu/vqgs
  Replies (13) Good night (2705) Bad night (623)
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  (937): View more from Ohio

  My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.

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  (937): My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you. http://tfl.nu/3o9h
  Replies (4) Good night (2751) Bad night (588)
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.

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  (908): I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon. http://tfl.nu/vwke
  Replies (13) Good night (1806) Bad night (523)
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  (812): View more from Indiana

  My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.

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  (812): My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete. http://tfl.nu/hbes
  Replies (1) Good night (963) Bad night (316)
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  (734): View more from Michigan

  I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.

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  (734): I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued. http://tfl.nu/8osh
  Replies (8) Good night (1077) Bad night (301)
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  (770): View more from Georgia

  I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..

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  (770): I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair.. http://tfl.nu/10ie
  Replies (6) Good night (622) Bad night (360)
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  (316): View more from Kansas

  He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......

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  (316): He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me...... http://tfl.nu/tscc
  Replies (5) Good night (239) Bad night (673)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome

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  (314): Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome http://tfl.nu/2lxw
  Replies (4) Good night (884) Bad night (325)
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  (205): View more from Alabama

  I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.

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  (205): I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices. http://tfl.nu/j09c
  Replies (0) Good night (381) Bad night (657)

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