So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.