yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
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