Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(201): View more from New Jersey

One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo

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(201): One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo http://tfl.nu/izrq

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(404): View more from Georgia

Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.

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(404): Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket. http://tfl.nu/i4q7

Replies (15) Good night (4512) Bad night (934)
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(401): View more from Rhode Island

Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.

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(401): Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself. http://tfl.nu/v546

Replies (27) Good night (710) Bad night (3810)
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(309): View more from Illinois

In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.

(217): View more from Illinois

gotta love wednesdays

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(309): In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st. (217): gotta love wednesdays http://tfl.nu/3grc

Replies (21) Good night (4187) Bad night (1061)
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(585): View more from New York

She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.

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(585): She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings. http://tfl.nu/pz3m

Replies (44) Good night (6871) Bad night (1775)
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(267): View more from Pennsylvania

We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for

(215): View more from Pennsylvania

Umm you met him three days ago....

(267): View more from Pennsylvania

I said what I said

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(267): We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for (215): Umm you met him three days ago.... (267): I said what I said http://tfl.nu/18h0

Replies (30) Good night (7582) Bad night (1668)
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(506): View more from New Brunswick

I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.

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(506): I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number. http://tfl.nu/oux0

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(703): View more from Virginia

Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him

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(703): Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him http://tfl.nu/ek6e

Replies (9) Good night (5664) Bad night (1205)
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(970): View more from Colorado

No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...

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(970): No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand... http://tfl.nu/1d8q

Replies (10) Good night (856) Bad night (4945)
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(520): View more from Arizona

there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.

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(520): there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands. http://tfl.nu/q8hf

Replies (16) Good night (2199) Bad night (1480)
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(303): View more from Colorado

I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty

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(303): I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty http://tfl.nu/j05t

Replies (3) Good night (826) Bad night (590)
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(403): View more from Alberta, CA

Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom

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(403): Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom http://tfl.nu/04zu

Replies (2) Good night (1371) Bad night (451)
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(707): View more from California

Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid

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(707): Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid http://tfl.nu/1mf7

Replies (4) Good night (776) Bad night (302)
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(763): View more from Minnesota

No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested

(612): View more from Minnesota

Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us

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(763): No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested (612): Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us http://tfl.nu/ydpg

Replies (7) Good night (1392) Bad night (342)
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(315): View more from New York

He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick

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(315): He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick http://tfl.nu/ogpi

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