you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
