the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
