i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
