Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
