so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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