Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
