Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
You pole danced in your parka.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
