i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
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It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
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