I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
