I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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