There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
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