wake up i wanna do it froggy style
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
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