Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
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