Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Randomize
