Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
